Category: Side Notes

Math Meets Critical Theory: Jameson, Bhabha, and Spivak in Motion

There’s a moment, reading Homi Bhabha’s takedown of Fredric Jameson in The Location of Culture, when something clicks—not just in the argument, but in the style. Jameson is trying to solve culture like an equation: assign values, isolate variables, and arrive at a coherent output. Bhabha, meanwhile, is operating in a different mathematical universe entirely. He’s not solving; he’s deriving. His meanings shift, flow, contradict themselves, curve around colonial histories and linguistic fractures.

That’s when it hit me:
Jameson is doing algebra. Bhabha is doing calculus.

Jameson’s work, especially in Postmodernism, or, the Cultural Logic of Late Capitalism, constructs a kind of conceptual grid—a structured model for understanding cultural production under late capitalism. At one point, he tries to extract the entire cultural logic of Chinese revolutionary art from a few translated lines of a poem. Bhabha doesn’t just critique him—he highlights the large leap it takes to derive sweeping cultural meaning from such limited textual fragments, especially when filtered through translation and Western assumptions. It’s a perfect example of algebraic thinking: plug in limited data, assume fixed meaning, and solve for culture.

Bhabha won’t have it. The Location of Culture demands a theory in motion: layered, recursive, nonlinear. He’s writing from the margins, where meaning keeps shifting.

If algebra asks: what is the value? Calculus asks: how is it changing? Bhabha is telling us that culture can’t be understood without motion, history, and the messiness of change. Culture, for Bhabha, isn’t inherited wholesale—it’s negotiated in what he calls the Third Space: that unstable zone where meanings are constantly rewritten, identities shift by degrees, and history doesn’t sit still. It’s culture in motion—the kind you trace, not solve.

I found this perspective reinforced, unexpectedly, in Ruha Benjamin’s work. A sociologist of science and technology, Benjamin exposes how supposedly neutral systems—algorithms, predictive policing, medical technologies—inherit the biases of their creators. In Race After Technology, she warns against the “New Jim Code,” where racism is reproduced through technical design under the guise of objectivity.

Like Bhabha, Benjamin insists that to understand a system, you have to track not just what it does, but how it got that way. Present-day outcomes, she argues, are derivatives of historical forces. You can’t read a data point—or a person—without understanding its slope: the embedded assumptions, the legacy code, the inertia of injustice. She, too, resists the grid. Her critique unfolds across vectors—of race, design, history, and power—all moving.

As I thought through this fun thought experiment, I wondered: if Jameson is algebra and Bhabha is calculus, does that make Gayatri Spivak’s Can the Subaltern Speak? the equivalent of imaginary numbers? Not quite real, not quite unreal, but necessary to complete the system. Spivak, a literary theorist and postcolonial scholar, famously questions whether the subaltern—the colonized subject denied access to institutional power—can ever be fully represented within Western discourse.

Her answer is purposefully paradoxical: the moment the subaltern is heard, she is no longer subaltern. This epistemic instability mirrors the strangeness of imaginary numbers—unintuitive, elusive, but essential for solving real problems. Spivak isn’t offering closure. You can’t solve her. But she makes sure we don’t mistake solvability for truth.

Thinking in motion—historically, culturally, structurally—is hard. It’s messy. It rarely resolves into tidy answers. But it’s the only way to read honestly.

If Jameson gives us a model, Bhabha gives us a method. Benjamin updates that method for the digital age, showing how inequality is encoded, inherited, and disguised. And Spivak reminds us that some voices remain outside the solvable system entirely.

Culture doesn’t sit still long enough to be solved. And maybe that’s the point.

When Pain Disrupts the Self: My Two Month Migraine

Note: I don’t necessarily have tidy takeaways here. I wrote this to name the season I’ve been in—and to remind myself (and maybe someone else) that being stuck doesn’t mean being lost. The invisible illness of migraines has made me grapple with my sense of self.

The Shame Beneath the Symptoms

I do my best to be someone who shows up. I take pride in being reliable—at work, in friendships, in the small rituals of discipline that tether me to my goals. I don’t chase perfection, but I’ve long held myself to a quiet standard: that my word is good, that I deliver, that I don’t flake.

And then came the migraines.

They didn’t just knock me off my feet—they disrupted my entire sense of self. It has been two months of negotiating pain and obligation. First came the dizziness, the visual sensitivity, the nausea. But underneath that, a slower—in some ways more painful—ache bloomed: shame.

I began missing meetings. Rescheduling plans with friends. Canceling guitar lessons I looked forward to all week. The version of myself I’d carefully built—competent, consistent, dependable—started to feel like a memory I was failing to live up to.

I didn’t expect the guilt to be the worst part.

There’s a cruel math that starts to take root in moments like these:  

If I miss one guitar lesson, it’s understandable.  

If I miss three, I’m flaky.  

If I miss a work deadline due to a migraine, it’s health.  

But if I start altering how I work, what I commit to, or who can count on me—am I still the same person?

I didn’t want to be treated like someone who couldn’t be trusted.  

And worse—I didn’t want to believe it about myself.

When something I’d committed to at work moved forward without me, it felt like confirmation of what I feared most: that I was a failure.

When my guitar lessons moved me to the cancellation list after too many missed sessions, undisciplined echoed in my chest.  

When I couldn’t make it to a friend’s birthday because of a migraine, my conscience hissed: flaky.

All of it became evidence for a story I was afraid might be true:  

That I’m failing.  

That I’m not enough.  

That even though the cause is out of my control, the consequences are mine to carry—and that they define me.

I’ve poured so much time and energy into trying to fix this invisible illness. Even now, when people ask if I’m feeling better, I hedge. Yes, I’m “better”—but only in the sense that I’ve learned how to mask better. The migraines still come. The dizziness still hits. I’ve learned to work around them—until I can’t.

Trying to get proper care has felt like shouting into a void. Booking a neurologist appointment was hard enough. But the real gauntlet came after: follow-up questions about prescriptions that didn’t help, routed through a receptionist like a cruel game of telephone. I’ve been made to feel like I’m doing something wrong just by advocating for myself.

I wish I could snap my fingers and erase the last two months. I wish this wasn’t part of my story. But it is. And I’m still here—sorting through the guilt, the fear, the shame, the pain—and trying to find a version of myself I can still believe in.

Right now, I’m just trying to keep going—even if I don’t know what “better” will look like. Even if all I can do is name the ache and let it be seen.

What Audiobooks Gave Back to Me

Even when I was trapped in my apartment—blinds drawn, head pounding, the world tilting beneath me—I could still be transported.

The migraines knocked me out of rhythm, and out of recognition. I couldn’t trust my energy. I canceled plans. Missed things I cared about. I watched that version of myself I had always depended on—the reliable one, the capable one—start to fade.

So I did what I’ve always done when I feel unmoored: I reached for a book – or rather, audiobook. I’ve been a proud listener of Audible since 2015.

Now, when screens and pages could cause searing pain down the sides of my head, audiobooks were my lifeline. I started listening to Les Misérables, Femina, Race After Technology, How to Behave Badly in Elizabethan England, and Character, letting them play while I lay motionless in bed or shuffled to the kitchen to reheat chicken congee I made in bulk. I even listened to HCI papers through Speechify, letting their clunky syntax become oddly comforting.

Sometimes the topics were way too heavy for my sensitive mind. That’s when I turned to the books every woman reads but doesn’t always name publicly—the quiet comforts passed friend to friend without pretense. I could distract myself from the dizziness and nausea for a few hours at a time with some regency romance or litrpg.

And so listening became a lifeline. Not a hobby. Not a virtue. Not some aesthetic return to self-care. When I couldn’t move my body, these stories moved something in my mind. They reminded me that I still had curiosity. That I could still lose myself in ideas. That I could still feel joy, or fury, or awe—even when I couldn’t do much else.

This wasn’t the first time reading saved me. Two years ago, during concussion recovery, I got through an impressive (for me) number of classics while I was similarly trapped: Don Quixote, The Brothers Karamazov, Dracula, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, North and South, and Moby Dick. Of course, I balanced those with an equal (or greater) number of “embarrassing” reads. Each book reminded me that my brain was still mine, even if it wasn’t working quite right. That the light was still on, even if flickering.

Reading certainly didn’t fix my migraines. But it is giving me a way back to myself. Whether through Hugo’s moral universe, feminist theory, speculative critiques of tech, or soft romance tropes I’ll never publicly admit to loving, every book cracked open something in me.

They gave me back pieces of myself.
I am grateful to reading for that.

Stop Telling Women To Go Into Management When They Bring Up Diversity

My friend recently told me about a conversation she had with another engineer at her job. She was describing how her team seems to have one archetype she doesn’t fit into. The entire team is more senior than her, all male, and tend to focus more on the purely technical and not the glue work1 that makes up a large chunk of professional software engineering . There have even been recent instances where she’s seen communication fall apart completely. As a mid-level engineer interested in IC growth and promotion, it’s difficult for her to see how to do that when the team is only rewarding and supporting one archetype and type of person that she doesn’t want to fit into.

She told this to a staff level male engineer on another team, and while he was well intentioned, he asked her if she thought about management since she seemed to keep bringing up a lot of issues that management works on.

I’ve been used to being the only woman in the room since I was 14. It still affects me the same way it did when I was a teenager. There’s even science backing up how I feel.2 When I’m the only woman in the room I immediately feel self conscious and like the entire weight of my sex rests on my shoulders. I wonder if I’m coming off as too nice or too much of a nag. When I make a technical suggestion I wonder if people are even hearing what I’m saying or dismissing me because I’m a woman. I can also feel myself internalizing that since there are no women around me, I don’t belong. There’s a lot going on in my subconscious brain.

So eventually when things make their way to my conscious brain – and I’m an engineer, I like solving problems – I bring it up and try to figure out a solution. I have a real vested interest in making sure my work environment feels inclusive to me. It impacts whether or not I get a promotion, how much I’m paid, or if I am just plain happy in my day to day.

However, more often than not, it feels like when women bring up a company’s lack of representation or another cultural issue, the problem then falls on them to fix it. And this often subtly leads the woman into management. “We need more people like you to help us with our diversity,” is something I’ve heard a lot as a female engineer, and when I spend even a portion of my time on people related tasks, I naturally get better at it.

It might be counterintuitive, but promoting women into management may actually hurt gender diversity, too.3 It subtly reinforces the notion that women aren’t technical but are instead managerial. A lot of women, myself included, are drawn to the not purely technical. And a lot of women are also good employees and will excel at a job they are tasked with, but that doesn’t mean they should go into management.

I don’t want to be a manager right now – I like helping people grow and I like improving culture, but I have a lot more fun building things. At the moment, I know management won’t fulfill me. I know this because I’ve spent a lot of time introspecting about my goals, which is something all women should do, otherwise, I’m willing to bet, well meant advice is likely to lead women directly into management.4

So what are a couple things allies can say to a woman when she brings up “diversity”?

  1. Validate what they’re feeling. There’s a lot of nuance and we’re fighting social psychology right now. Chances are women are right when something feels “off”. A lot of women I know in engineering have asked themselves the question “Am I crazy?” when thinking about their experiences. This puts a lot of us in a vulnerable position when we share our stories, so when someone feels comfortable enough to share her story with you, this should not be treated lightly.5
  2. Promise your friend or colleague you will bring up diversity and champion culture more – allyship is key. It also normalizes the idea that all people and culture problems are everyone’s problems, not just those who are affected. Just make sure that if you’re repeating any ideas from others that any credit goes to where the idea came from.

Continue reading

© 2025 Madeline Neumiller

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑